Lamplight
by Bonster
Summary: Anya is killed. Xander is comfortable with Spike around. They talk, bond, and drink. All pre-slash.


Title: Lamplight 1/?   
Author: Bonster   
Email: angelxanderforever@hotmail.com  
Feedback: Yeah, definitely. Did ya hate it? Did ya dig it? Let me know!  
Archive: Let me know, because I like knowing where these boys play.   
Pairings: Xander/Spike, pre-slash  
Rating: PG   
Disclaimer: The characters aren't mine. They belong to Joss "God" Whedon. Oh and ME, Kuzui, Fox, etc.  
Spoilers: None, just makes use of vaguely season 4/5 characters.  
Summary: Anya is killed. Xander feels comfortable with Spike. They talk, drink, and bond (in a non-sexual way...for now at least, but it will happen)  
Notes: Unbeta'd  
  
Part 1  
  
Xander stood in his doorway. He looked at his darkened apartment. Flipping the switch on the wall, he murmured, "Let there be light."  
  
Although the room was now brightly lit, Xander's melancholic disposition remained. Sighing, Xander closed and locked the door, and went to sit on the couch.  
  
Anya. Anya Emerson. Former vengeance demon, now a cold, lifeless human body resting in a room of the funeral home, to be buried tomorrow.  
  
Xander was still feeling lost. Anya had been attacked by a vampire, but not a mere fledgling. The vamp had had brains and had survived a few encounters with Buffy; each time fighting until a slight hesitation opened the way for a quick retreat.  
  
It had not survived three days ago.   
  
Buffy was patrolling with Spike, and Anya had run into them on the way from the Magic Box. Buffy had heard something and gone to check it out, leaving Anya to walk along with Spike. Anya was in the middle of filling him in on a shipment of some demon species' version of antacid tablets, when the vamp had struck.  
  
It grabbed Anya and snapped her neck, and was in the middle of turning toward Spike, when it was dusted. With Spike's vampiric speed, he had slipped underneath a swinging arm and staked the creature.   
  
The blink of an eye. A path with Anya into the future that would be forever blocked for Xander. He shuddered.  
  
Buffy, Willow, Tara, Dawn, and even Spike had been solidly there for Xander. Especially Spike, who had been surprisingly gentle and friendly, going so far as to staying at night while Xander sat in the room where Anya was placed in her coffin.  
  
They had had several good conversations, he and Spike. Mostly about how short life was, no matter how long you lived. How even vampires would be destroyed when the sun exploded. Then Xander had brought up the unless.  
  
"Unless they just ride windowless spacecraft. But also you've got to remember the blood. Maybe they would take animals, and it would be like Noah's Ark, except for only undead fiends would be saved."  
  
Spike had smiled softly, then outright laughed. "Noah's Ark. Instead of a rainbow or a dove as a sign that it was safe, we'd send out the youngest of us, and if we saw the dust particles floating by, then we'd know, Hark, it wasn't so."  
  
Xander had actually managed a smile at that. His mind jumped to another part of the discussion. Blood.  
  
Xander turned pleading, wet eyes to Spike. "Spike, how come he didn't drain her? Why did he just break her neck?"   
  
Spike swallowed. "You want me to be honest, Xander?" Xander nodded.  
  
"Well, most of the time, it's just about the kill. We need blood. And it's quite well amazing to," Spike hesitated. "Uh, to drain someone. But, if say, we're already, uh, full, then the kill is just as powerful." Xander's eyes were shining with such sorrow, Spike looked to the floor.   
  
"Oh," was all Xander managed to get out.  
  
Spike had walked him home not long after, and now Xander sat on his couch, fingering the colorful throw Anya had insisted on buying, even though it clashed with the grays and beiges.  
  
"But it reminds me of you," she had said, when Xander had tried to tell her it was a waste of money.  
  
A fresh set of tears fell from Xander's eyes, some trailing off of his nose and onto his shirt.  
  
#####  
  
"Amen," said the minister, concluding the short grave-side service.  
  
Xander had insisted on having the funeral just after sunset. He knew Spike would want to attend, and he also wanted the vampire there.  
  
Although during the service, Buffy had sat on his left side, Willow on his right, Xander was more comforted by the vampire who stood directly behind him.  
  
An unspoken understanding was made, and Spike was to be the one who drove Xander home.  
  
They drove in silence, and upon reaching Xander's apartment building, Spike also got out, possibly intending on saying one last "I'm sorry", but Xander's words stopped him.  
  
"Spike, I really don't want to be alone." Xander stared at the ground, then made his way inside and toward the apartment.  
  
Xander had spent the past several nights alone, but being with the vampire for hours before each period had left him a little calmer. Tonight, however, he felt none of that calm.  
  
When he had unlocked and entered his apartment, he glanced at the door way. Spike had followed, silently, and was now standing against the doorjamb with an unsure look on his face.  
  
Xander realized he had never invited Spike inside. A ghost of a smile appeared, as he whispered, "Come in, Spike."  
  
With a nod, Spike stepped inside. He looked around, and made his way to the couch. "Do you got anything to drink, mate?"  
  
Xander quirked his lips more, and said in a hopeful tone, "Of the alcoholic persuasion?"  
  
Spike turned his head toward Xander. "Sure," quiet, but firm.  
  
Xander got out a bottle of tequila. It was strong and would get the job done.  
  
Two hours, later a very drunk Xander, and a partially drunk Spike were watching a late night movie with Patrick Bergin as the star.  
  
"You know," hiccup, drink. "He wasn't really that creepy in Sleeping With the Enemy, you know? Not too creepy at all."  
  
Spike looked over at Xander like he had just insulted the Sex Pistols. Taking the bottle away from Xander, he said, "What? He was bloody," pause, drink. "He was bloody brilliant in that. You just can't appreciate a good stalker." Another drink.  
  
Xander looked indignant. He made a try for the bottle and missed, grabbing Spike's thigh. Giving his hand a confused look, Xander said, "I can't drink that." Looking back up at Spike, he said, "He was a piss poor stalker. Now those guys who stalk women who work at their," pause, as he tries to find the right word. Sticking his tongue out to the side, he continued, "Workplaces. Guys who stalk women at their workplaces are much creepier. Now give me the bottle." Xander's hand once again missed, this time landing in Spike's hair.  
  
"Oi!" Spike yanked his head back, away from the prying fingers. "The bottle is not mixed in with the hair gel, idiot. Here," With an exasperated sigh, Spike handed the bottle to a now smirking Xander.  
  
"Thanks, Fangless." He took a swig. "You know, there's only two more drinks left in this." He squinted his eyes, trying to make out the mouth of the bottle. A mumbled, "I know it was here a second ago."  
  
Spike laughed. "Here. Give me that." Snatching the bottle easily out of Xander's drunken grasp, Spike drank the rest of it. "There, no more left. Now maybe you can sit back and watch the movie and not comment on things you just do not understand." Spike giving Xander a "I know all" look turned back to the television.  
  
Xander frowned. "Spike? You know about stalking?"  
  
Spike sighed. "Yes, Xander. Master Vampire here."  
  
Xander leaned his head back on the couch. "Spike, was that vamp who killed Anya, was he stalking her?"  
  
Spike faced Xander then. He took in Xander's appearance, and guessed the question was not rhetorical. "Xander, he was stalking Buffy. Anya…Anya was a bonus to him, pet. She got caught in the middle of a trap."  
  
Xander thought about Spike's words. "But if he wasn't stalking her, why did he kill her? Why her?"  
  
"Because she," Spike paused. "She was on the good side and she wasn't important to him. The Slayer was all he was really focused on, Xan." Spike looked away.  
  
"You mean she wasn't important? She wasn't the focus? But she was my focus, Spike." With that, Xander leaned his head on Spike's shoulder, letting his quiet tears flow.  
  
Spike, slightly taken aback at the movement, moved his arm awkwardly around Xander's shoulders. "That she was, pet. That she was."  
  
Xander nestled into the vampire. It felt good to have someone holding him. Xander did not know what it was that had made Spike such a beacon as of late, but he was grateful.   
  
With a large sniffle, Xander used one hand to clear his face of the still falling tears. Feeling a little calmer, he closed his eyes and drifted to sleep. 


End file.
